Funeral

Now that I am dead, I would like to discuss my funeral. 

First and for most I want Chick fil a and a open bar.. Yeah everyone will order virgin but I want alcohol. Oh and I want the Dallas cowboys cheer leaders. 

I want Frank Sinatra singing live. 

Mom and Dad should cover the cost if not them I am sure my boss will cover the rest.. if you do have extra money I want the chip n dales to show up. yes already oiled ready to go. (hey someone has to keep the girls company while I am gone) 

I will need a mix of laughing and crying I will go with 75\20. I was never good at math anyways. Location doesn't matter too much but the State Capital should do the trick. All around my ranking will be on massive banners around the Capital. they go as follows: 

Nicest People

1.Grandma 

2.Talmage Gunther 

3.Jon Dodge 

4.Mr.Rodgers 

5.The hatch twins 

Biggest Jerks 

1. David Flake 
2. David Flake 
3. Parker Richards 
4. Ben Griffins brother 
5. TBD

Most fun

1.Makenna Pliler 

2.Mike Mower after a big win 

3.Natile Pliler 

4.Mccall Andrus 

5.Jon Christianson 

Greatest witnesses.

Freeze world series 

Harleen in the end zone 

Patriots winning the 2015 supper bowl 

Kissing K#$%^ P(*&^$ Oh. My. Gosh.

Opras giving away 100s of cars.. That ladie is awesome. 

Largest Regrets

Not yelling at Thayne Harrison 

My last girl friend 

Me paying $400 for a Xbox from my brother 

Not being at operas give away 

People i was sure would be dead before me

1.Obama

2.My dog 

3.Ozzy Osborn 

4.Rhonda Bromly 

5.Gary Dunn 

Best insult.

“Why do you sound like a 12 year old calling from your basement?” 

Best class presidents 

1.Bailey Frampton 

2.Jake Irving 

3.Ben Clark 

4.Jayden Crowler 

Things I will miss.

1.Family

2.Playing football 

3.Frank Jackson

4.jack Johnson on a rainy day

Things I won’t do

Find Paris 

Marry 

Have Sexs 

Sky dive 

Explore the world 

Most athletic people I have met. 

1.Tyson Doman 

2.Frank Jackson 

3.Tyler Kap 

4.Mckelle Cahoon 

5.Talmage Gunther 

6.

7.

8.lyle Mangum in his prime 

What I learned 

1.Fastest sprinter is the slowest walker

2.Kony 2012 was Bull ****

3.If there are 100 people crying at your after dinner speech you can only focus on the one asleep.