My Future Wife

Oh Love,

The distances I would travel to know your name. 

I can only imagine the late night conversations we will have every night. 

Our bed so comfortable. Surrounded by pictures of us in different places in the world so in love and so extremely happy. I can only imagine the stories we will have together. Laughing and Crying with each other growing closer day by day. 

I can only imagine the Trials we will go through and what I am most excited for is that your strong points are my weaknesses and your weakness is my strong points. Oh how we will grow old together us having so many wonderful meals together talking only to hear each others voices. Our first house will be the cutest thing you have ever seen. so poor but even more in love. I find peace just thinking of you. I find comfort in just thinking about you. Your touch could kill me if you wanted. 

The only person to know all my secrets will be you dear. I will put my full trust in you and I expect the same from you. The saturday mornings will be splendid darling. I will be in the kitchen making you your favorite breakfast and I will probably make some remark about how I messed up but you will think it is fine. 

When we are old lovers with our skin more texture than the oatmeal we eat. We will still love each other the same way the day we met. Oh and the songs we will dance to the way I will move will be so off beat but our heart beats the same. 

I want to travel with you and grow closer with you by the day. I will be an open book that you can read at anytime. I will be so head over heals in love with you with no restrictions just me and you and a blank notebook to write our story on. so hears to you Love. Hears to the good times and the bad. Hears to being so content with each other that words have not been made up to describe it. Hears to the rain on a saturday morning and nothing to do but hold each other tight all day long. Hears to thinking about you when I am 18 because I am so in love with you already. I can’t imagine when I kiss you for the first time, no better taste will be on my lips. Hears to the smell on our skin. Hears to waking up to you forever. Hears to I miss you and I don’t even think I know you yet. Hears to the stepping stones along the way. Hears to clean sheets and our kids. Hears to our darling daughter or daughters. Hears to our smiling son or sons. Hears to the times with our family. Hears to the moments that we will miss the most. Hears to the one who dies first. Hears to finding heaven on earth dear. Hears to us. 

Mountain

I climb. 

Can’t see the peak 

Only focused on the now. 

Prepared for the future. 

Learned from my past. 

Tears on my sleeve.

Hands hard from the rocks.

Skin tanned from the suns. 

Muscles carved from the climb.

Blood on my feet. 

Shaking. 

I chose this Mountain. 

To live on.

I believe in this. 

This is my Paris. 

This is my Mountain. 

This is my Struggle 

This is my Pain.

This is my Happiness.

This is my Will. 

This is my Victory. 

nine: forty one

How to Find the map to your heart is harder than actually finding the key.

Lets pretend this didn’t happen dear.

Lets pretend I didn’t care about you this much.

You dont make me smile. 

And I dont think about you like I do. 

Lets pretend you didn’t have the feelings you have and you broke my ever so weak heart.

Lets pretend you break my heart.

Lets pretend my heart is a lot harder to open than finding the key.

Lets pretend that you take a gun to my head and pulled the trigger.

Lets be real. I would do it over and over again. 

it’s 9:41 pm. 

Lets Pretend. 

Lets pretend all our wounds are still open and you are the only one that can kiss them better

And Yesterdays hope is all we need even though the day is as black as the night.

Love makes you see even though it killed me.

Life is funny dear.

And you sit infront of me at the checkout line and we don’t talk. Lets pretend I don’t see you again.

Lets pretend I chased you around like a school boy on the swing set.

the grass if gone and it is just dirt.

And my life is “great” 

Lets pretend I Talk to my sister and and and get a long.

Lets pretend you don’t complete me.

and I have cancer.

Let’s pretend girls know what guys want.

Let’s pretend we didn’t kiss eachothers teeth

Let’s pretend no more.

Let’s be real 

Let’s be real when you kiss me i lick my lips for hours after.

Let’s be real when you hug me in walmart and we just sit there. 

i love that darling 

Let’s be real I love you. 

d43me aka rachel bridges

dear d43me 

I found that your style is different than mine and I like different. 

I put a poem together of quotes from your blog that I could connect with.

i found salvation at three am

 & i got to thinking, i don't know who i am, & i don't know what i want to be when i grow up, but i know who i want to be right now.

the honest truth

i got a little bigger but i think i'm mostly still the same

when i was younger i was scared of

who i was supposed to be

now i'm scared because i still have nightmares

because 

it is you i feel most alive with

& i want to throw my arms above my head

my hands shake, i get goosebumps, i am alive, & i love you

when we shared a sleeping bag & choked on campfire smoke

i wrote your name in cursive letters too many times & i think my pen is almost out of ink

i love you, i love you, i love you

but right now, i am here & i'm trying

i have had seventeen years of "firsts."

my first heartbreak was on a friday, & my head & eyes ached as i cried

but 

time has expired

and

to 

you 

i'm just another face in a crowd

all i ever will be & i'm ok with that

"everything hurts like hell, but i do it for you"

you realize that "tomorrow" is yesterday & that this is your life

seventeen matches

i have had seventeen years of "firsts."

my first heartbreak was on a friday, & my head & eyes ached as i cried

you 

were 

the person i 

could

call at 4 a.m.

but now 

i am one in seven billion.

This was a weird

Britton Thomas Bettridge, 18, of Highland, UT, Passed away Yesterday He was born May 27, 1997 to Rick and Trish Bettridge. Britton Graduated from Lone Peak High School and Played Linebacker for the Lone Peak football team he was a First Team all region for the Knights. Britton Took major Pride in his Sports, Family and Friends. His Dad Rick taught him the ropes on how to become a true honest man. Him and his mom would always go shopping or out to lunch and He enjoyed spending time with her the most.  He went to the Gym every day and Enjoyed working out with his brother Austin. He often looked up to his Sister Brandi for any advice and His younger sister Mckenzie for being Happy all the time. He often hung out with his friends and enjoyed the outdoors. He collected hats and would often see him wearing a Yankees hat. Britton holds the ranking of Eagle Scout and resembles the attributes that scouting stands for. Britton Enoyed riding his Harley, Flirting with Girls and making weird memories with his friends. One in particular is when him and his friends made a couch on wheels and road it around Highland. Britton knew what it meant to live life to the fullest and be happy in times of trial. His one wish was not to be remembered by the things he did but the person he was. He will be remembered as a funny loving kid who gave his all at life and never regretted anything he did. He loved the Support he got from extended Family members and love ones. He often looked up to coaches who helped raise him to the hard worker he was. He will be missed.

I dont know why I wrote this. I have always thought of writing my own obituary the other day and I don't know why but I had a out of body experience writing it and I hope you know I don't plan on dying anytime soon. 

thanks. 

- Shawn

Midnight in Paris

I was on the plane watching “Midnight in Paris” and one of the actors said this. and I quote: “All men fear death. It’s a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that we haven’t loved well enough or loved at all, which ultimately are one and the same. However, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world and one that makes you feel truly powerful, that fear of death completely disappears. Because when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman the world fades away. You two are the only ones in the entire universe. You conquer what most lesser men have never conquered before, you have conquered a great woman’s heart, the most vulnerable thing she can offer to another. Death no longer lingers in the mind. Fear no longer clouds your heart. Only passion for living, and for loving, become your sole reality. This is no easy task for it takes insurmountable courage. But remember this, for that moment when you are making love with a woman of true greatness you will feel immortal.

I believe that love that is true and real creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving or not loving well, which is the same thing. And when the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face like some rhino hunters I know or Belmonte, who is truly brave, it is because they love with sufficient passion to push death out of their minds. Until it returns, as it does to all men. And then you must make really good love again. Think about it.” 

It had me thinking the whole weekend what love really is. It had me honestly pissed off and I still don’t know what it is. There are a lot, of different ways to love but to truly love is different. For right now I am an 18 year old kid who really shouldn’t be thinking about it all too much. So this week i do not share something poetic but more of a thought. Find what you love and roll with it. Yeah there is a chance that your heart will be broken probably a 99% chance. Enjoy the moment and as Billy Joel once said “dream on but don’t dream it will all come true” 

P.S. love is bull shit. 

Jay-Z

I am a son of a successful business man that has always supported me through everything and cares about the smallest things. I have laughed with this man and cried with him. From him I have learned Love. 

My mother has been my best friend and always has been there for me. She is my biggest cheer leader. I have seen her stand tall when others have fallen. From this I have learned Strength and Persistence. 

I have grown up playing sports and I will not have anyone tell me that sports is just a game. It has molded me to the man I am. 

I had a verbally abusive coach that told me I would never amount to anything.. ever. From this I have learned Confidence. 

I won 3 Championship tittles in a row. From this I learned Victory. 

I went 13-0 and lost in the State Championship. From this I learned Failure. 

I lost a friend from suicide. From this I learned to live.

I have a friend that got cheated on by his Wife. From this I learned Loyalty. 

I had someone Record a private phone conversation and show it to people. From this I learned Trust. 

I Once was in love with a girl. Then she made out with my best friend. From this I learned wrong doing. 

I am in Love with a girl. From this I have learned endearment. 

I have Punched a kid in the jaw. I have learned that fighting isn't worth it. 

I have been Lied to. From this i am trying to learn forgiveness. 

I have exceeded my expectations in life. from this I have learned potential. 

Shawn Carter was a Coke dealer in Maryland and now he runs NYC I chose him because it shows that insane work ethic can get you anywhere. I find this to be true. Even though Me and Jay-Z have completely different lives we have a couple things in common. We both run our worlds not THE world but our worlds. In closing I thank all the people who have read my blog. I hope you continue to read. This is Shawn carter.

 a.k.a. Britton Bettridge. 

Father of my dad.

To Grandpa 

Thank you for keeping the news paper clippings and raising my dad the way he is. I tend to look up to you both. How are you doing living alone? I can see how you are at the family parties and I want to cry for you man. You are such a great guy about to go and meet the greatest of them all. How soon are you thinking? Grandma has been gone about 6 years now and I don’t know if i could go 6 years without the love of my life. leaving me alone and quiet. What were you like when you were my age? I know for a fact you did somethings that you have laughed about while you were alone sitting in that old recliner. Man I love you. I think you chose the best spot for your final resting place. The pond is beautiful and I want to take a girl there. Can we come over for the afternoon and keep you company? We might go on the pond on the row boat for a little bit. Is it weird to see your friends go? how about me? am I representing your name well enough? The way you smiled when you talked about me makes the bad times worth it. Is my dad your favorite? I need to ask you more questions in person. Love you man. Be over soon. 

living through technicolor.

I

I wonder if you are sick of this yet?

You said that we think the same and i wonder if we really do. 

Your secret thoughts spend too many moments in mine. 

My love it is scary. 

Am i suffocating you? Does your fire need air? 

I don’t know.

I don’t want to keep asking. 

You say you are predictable. I can’t even read your writing how can I read your emotion? 

Your brain is a lock that I can’t even cut off. 

Give me the code babe. 

Am i over thinking this? 

Maybe it is the past. Maybe because I have never loved like this. 

I can’t imagine loving more than I do right now. 

I have to yell at myself to stop. 

I hope Walt Disney was right. 

Is this too good to be true? 

Just write me a letter letting me know and I will sign the restraining order if that is what you want. 

If we think the same. Life is going to be wait for it.

Grand. Just grand my love 

13-1

Failure haunts me like death. 

I would rather be dead than to have this feeling that I do right now. 

Alone. Scared. Wet. 

I admit defeat.

Emotion this strong can’t possibly be held in for too long.

The tears are just precipitation from which the bottle my emotions were held in. 

This is a broken record.

This is a broken record. 

It was all too good. 

I am in love.

Undefeated?

Happy?

Happy?

I am in love.

The best group of men assembled.

My body worn down from the exhaustion I put into this game. 

I put my heart into this shit. 

This is a broken record. 

My heart consists of two things. 

The person I love and this game.

This is a broken record. 

The rings were made. 

The rings were made. 

I was going to tell the girl of my dreams I was madly in love with her. 

Ms. I still am madly in love with you. 

It just would have made our story so much better. 

This is a broken record.

For it is my fault in the end. 

Every Movie has a tragedy. 

I made this game a show Premiering every Friday night starting at 7.

It is my fault for telling everyone to get their popcorn ready. 

Because in my mind we were in Hollywood 

Reality strikes as easy as a toothpick snapping. 

The storyline was too damn good. 

We all knew that. 

I would rather be forgotten than to be the bad example. 

it's late. It is late.

My Hearts biggest fear is you. 

You play me so well its like the sound of a tin can hitting the concrete. babe. you were born to break my heart. I hope you change that. I hope everything you say to me is true and you don't just feel bad for me. 

My Heart cant take the blood pressure from you sitting in front of my face. me looking for what you are and you looking through me. Take my beating heart out my chest already. dissect it. You don't need anything from me no map. love, you know my heart more than anyone else in the history of time.Tik Toc. Its like you hand crafted my blood. All my heart does is pump and feel your love. If you are going to kill me. IF you are going to kill me. kill me slow. I want my last seconds. looking at you slowly. the way I want. The way I want! Hopping that if i look at you hard enough then you will crave me. My taste is addicting dear. and I will die with you forever. Kill my heart dear. Kill it slow. *eyes closed 

Kill it slow. 

Funeral

Now that I am dead, I would like to discuss my funeral. 

First and for most I want Chick fil a and a open bar.. Yeah everyone will order virgin but I want alcohol. Oh and I want the Dallas cowboys cheer leaders. 

I want Frank Sinatra singing live. 

Mom and Dad should cover the cost if not them I am sure my boss will cover the rest.. if you do have extra money I want the chip n dales to show up. yes already oiled ready to go. (hey someone has to keep the girls company while I am gone) 

I will need a mix of laughing and crying I will go with 75\20. I was never good at math anyways. Location doesn't matter too much but the State Capital should do the trick. All around my ranking will be on massive banners around the Capital. they go as follows: 

Nicest People

1.Grandma 

2.Talmage Gunther 

3.Jon Dodge 

4.Mr.Rodgers 

5.The hatch twins 

Biggest Jerks 

1. David Flake 
2. David Flake 
3. Parker Richards 
4. Ben Griffins brother 
5. TBD

Most fun

1.Makenna Pliler 

2.Mike Mower after a big win 

3.Natile Pliler 

4.Mccall Andrus 

5.Jon Christianson 

Greatest witnesses.

Freeze world series 

Harleen in the end zone 

Patriots winning the 2015 supper bowl 

Kissing K#$%^ P(*&^$ Oh. My. Gosh.

Opras giving away 100s of cars.. That ladie is awesome. 

Largest Regrets

Not yelling at Thayne Harrison 

My last girl friend 

Me paying $400 for a Xbox from my brother 

Not being at operas give away 

People i was sure would be dead before me

1.Obama

2.My dog 

3.Ozzy Osborn 

4.Rhonda Bromly 

5.Gary Dunn 

Best insult.

“Why do you sound like a 12 year old calling from your basement?” 

Best class presidents 

1.Bailey Frampton 

2.Jake Irving 

3.Ben Clark 

4.Jayden Crowler 

Things I will miss.

1.Family

2.Playing football 

3.Frank Jackson

4.jack Johnson on a rainy day

Things I won’t do

Find Paris 

Marry 

Have Sexs 

Sky dive 

Explore the world 

Most athletic people I have met. 

1.Tyson Doman 

2.Frank Jackson 

3.Tyler Kap 

4.Mckelle Cahoon 

5.Talmage Gunther 

6.

7.

8.lyle Mangum in his prime 

What I learned 

1.Fastest sprinter is the slowest walker

2.Kony 2012 was Bull ****

3.If there are 100 people crying at your after dinner speech you can only focus on the one asleep. 

02-11-14

Did you look up the instructions how to make a noose? or did your dad teach you how to tie it? 

I wonder how long your blond hair is. 

Is your long board still in the same place? 

are your hands okay from touching the pavement. 

Were the cops just complete dicks? 

Was the barn silent? 

Did you break your neck or did you hang? Was it more painful then you were thinking? 

I am saying sorry for asking so many questions because that is the polite thing to do. 

Damn it Hunter leave a note at least. 

Help your parents out. 

How does your brothers feel?

How selfish. 

Your emotion had to be over flowing. 

Brother let me love you. 

I love you. 

I love you.

I love you. 

It doesn't mean much now. 

How selfish am I. 

How selfish am I not to tell you. 

You Love me don’t you? 

I see your spirit. 

You gave us life. 

You gave us happiness.

You gave us Love. 

I am sorry no one showed you the same.

Only you can hurt us the way you did. 

Only your brain can make you that depressed. 

You may have ended your life.

You may have started mine.

Till we meet again Brother.

What the world teaches us.

No matter how much advice you ask for the best advice comes from your heart. 

Trust is just a word tossed around that everyone thinks they have. 

When you fall down and start crying your parents will be there. 

Bad days will come don’t let the bad effect the great ones. 

When you fall in love your heart will not be broken. 

The ocean is beautiful and quiet. 

Treat others how you want to be treated. 

Just like trey songs “Sex ain’t better than love” 

Love and Trust are different things. Lust also goes with that. 

Manners matter. 

Family matters.

High school is like a big hike with no trail map nor trail and when you get to the top of your trail it will be spectacular if you make it that way. 

If you make it that way. 

ms.

I am Obsessed with our love. 

It is the best obsession anyone has ever had. 

Its like I am surrounded with white noise when I dance with you not concentrating on anything else but the thought of you. 

As if my concentration was not enough people were concentrated on our history. 

Wishing they were as happy as us.

Witnessing our history starting. 

Stuck in a priceless moment. 

No amount of persuading can make you leave? 

Stay my love. 

Stay and we will make each other happy forever. 

Come into this dear. 

Give me air to breathe. 

I will give you my soul. 

Lets find love. 

Lets live now and tomorrow will be grand. 

He says it all.

My Love

Don’t forget this. 

Hands shaking.

The way you look I think the doctor would give me permission to go into a coma. 

Babe do not forget this. 

The way you smile and run your hands throughout my hair.

Babe I will not forget this. 

I hold you a little tighter than I would anyone else. 

Your touch is so real when I try to reach for the stars the glass breaks. 

I am in a new dimension when I am with you. 

If the only thing I have to worry about when I am with you is “what time is it?” Then I want to be with you when we have all the time in the world. 

My strength is gone when I am with you but somehow I find the strength to bring you in on my body. 

Lips on lips. 

Your teeth are so cold but body so warm. 

I can feel you. 

I can see you. 

Is this too much to ask? 

Don’t forget me. 

Don’t forget me. 

Your hair is like black wet pain on a beautiful white canvas. 

It is black and white Babe. 

Don’t forget this. 

Your face is connected to my emotional heart. 

Your body is connected to my heart. 

I want to be stuck in that time when I am with you.

Your body is drowning me. 

Let me drown in you. 

Happiness has the right to be sad.

Happiness has the right to be sad every now and then. 

Sadness has a lot to be happy about. 

I shouldn't be this happy.

You shouldn't be this sad. 

Silence has the right to be loud

Loud has the reason to be silent.

anger has power to be Mello 

Mello should get angered more. 

Pain demands to be felt.

Just because you feel someway doesn't mean it is always pain.

The sun has the right to be up at night.

The moon out during the day sometimes. 

Blood should be shed. 

Blood should stop bleeding. 

Pride can be managed 

Managers have too much pride. 

Life has reasons for death. 

Death has more reasons than life it feels like. 

The right tern prohibits you from turning left 

The left prohibits you from turning back. 

What comes down must come up. 

What goes up must come down. 

It’s a way of life 

Life has a way of meaning. 

Find that meaning. 

Sunday at 4:01

My eyes are a little bigger. My knowledge is broader. The last week has been so eventful I do not know what to do with myself. It’s like all my hard work has shown... All my weaknesses as well. My Life is still here. It’s like i am back at the start and I can’t possibly do anything worse. Its is only up from here. The sky is a little bluer but the leafs on the trees are falling off, weather is a little cooler. My blood is a little colder. My bones are like old rusty pipes...They need to be replaced soon. I can’t tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like. there are gunshots and I am fine with it. I am bleeding out why am I not screaming for help? why am i not screaming for life? Painted memories being burned at the stake beautiful oil filled colors on the burning wall feeling the heat from the cold. Stepping in a hot room, my body unthaws pain fills the skin. In the end. The fire on the wall will be put out. The pain on my skin will be gone. The magazine in the hate filled gun will be empty. Just like that. My eyes are a little bigger. My knowledge is broader. My Life is still here. It’s like i am back at the start and I can’t possibly do anything worse. Its is only up from here.

I don't know what is worse.

What happens when people turn into robots? 

They kill them selves. 

What happens when robots become people?

They kill others. 

P.S. Stop killing yourself.